Music Analysis 2: Breaking The Habit By Linkin Park

Oh, dang it. The computers have spoken.

Thank you for introducing the episode today. Aaron. What? What the look on your face as your sin. They going, wait, what? What's going on? What, what, what? I thought

you like heard, like I thought there was a sound that again came from me. No, just opening my mouth. I was like, did I do

that? No, no, no, no. Today we're, uh, joined once again with Mr.

Johnson here. Aaron has joined me in his basement, or I have joined him in his basement. In my basement. Yeah. However you wanna put that. I don't care. But we're doing a neuro song analysis, and I enjoyed it last time. I got to pick the song for this time, so Well no you didn't. No, you didn't. I gave you a list and you selected I picked it, but it was still a list that I curated.

Yes. Okay. My coworker did say he wished we would've picked Nu, but as the cards laid, we picked Breaking The Habit by Lincoln Park instead. I picked, you picked from the last,

you remember I curated? Yeah. I can't remember which one you wanted me to do though. Well, which one you would have picked? It was

the, the, the military one.

Yeah. Castle Glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. But anyways, we did Breaking the Habit. So Breaking the Habit is the fifth and final single from the Matia album, which was released in 2003. On the track, the, the, this is the ninth song on the track. Why, why are you looking confused there and looking at your phone?

I was

You

Matia or Meteora? Mera. M E T E O R A. However, that's said. I don't know, Matia is how I say it. If I say it wrong, then I say it wrong. Why? No, go ahead. What were you gonna say? It

just brought me back to, uh, ed Sheron. Oh, how you'd pronounce

his name. Ed Sheron. Yeah. I thought I was gonna bring you back to Aaron's word of the week, which we could do visually.

No,

that's dangerous. Nope. Go on.

Okay. So yeah, so it's the fifth and final, uh, like I said, single from their, their 2003 album, um, which was actually their, I believe, their second album overall. The 20th anniversary of Set album is this year, and which is why I selected because it's kind of in that popular zeitgeist again.

They did just release a new song from the album. When I say New,

well from then, but

New to the Public, right. It was recorded back when they were recording the album, but it was never released, and as they said, it was literally lost away on a hard drive, and they just happened to find it while looking for material for the 20th anniversary of Theoria

album.

I'm trying to remember the name of that one, single

Lost. It's literally called Lost. Yeah. And what was cool about that album is they took elements from like all their music videos and animated them and added them back into that. Yeah, that was interesting. That music video, it, there is an album out, or not an album, why I say an album.

There's a video out on YouTube that you can watch that basically takes the lost music video and the side by side comparison of the original music video where that element of the music video came from. And it plays 'em side by side for you so you can kind of see how, oh, yes, that's right. That's what, that's right.

Yep. Yeah, you showed me that. That was cool. So Reagan, the habit, because I picked it and I have my notes up, I'm going to minimize my notes for temporarily. Ah, because I want to hear Aaron's take on the song first, his thoughts on the, the, the lyrics on the music, on the themes, on how it fits with the Bible and the music video.

Before I break into my notes. What, remember what we said when we did this, that the person actually, of course you don't, that the person who nominated the song go second. Oh yeah. I definitely don't. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's what I thought. And, and the reason is we didn't do that last time. Yeah. Last time was kind of a weird,

like, we went, we, it's like we kind of did one segment at a time.

Yeah.

Hard. And, and we could do, we could do each segment at a time here, I'm saying, but for each segment you go first. Oh, okay. So, and the reason is I don't want to influence Aaron. Oh geez. On the, his thoughts about the only thing, a part of it, the

only thing you will do is just build. Far beyond anything I say.

All right. So let's talk about the lyrics then. Lyrics. The lyrics. Let's talk about the lyrics first. It's depressing. It's depressing. Okay. Wow. Okay. What about the lyrics are depressing?

That's what I got from it.

That's what

it is. Depressing. Lyrically, musically, and just everything. Okay.

It's depressing. Got it. What about the lyrics are depressing? Oh gosh. Well, I

mean, well, I mean the verses, so first verse being, it, it, it just, it's sounds really sad. Uh, so verse one being memories consume, like opening the wound. I'm picking me apart again.

You all assume I'm safe here in my room unless I try to start again, which I guess I was gonna ask you, I guess what necessarily does, what does he mean by like trying, unless he's, unless I try to start again so he's safe in his room unless he tries to start again.

I guess start, well, no, he says you all assume I'm safe here, my room,

unless I try to start again.

Uhhuh,

I, I,

I start one again. Well, what, I guess I have to look, I mean, I guess, yeah, you have to use the rest of the whole song, I

suppose, in a way. Yes and no. Uh, here's why. Because you're just trying to like,

say, start at. Life again? Or like start to what? Move on. Do something? Or is he talking about starting again as in hurting himself or something like a bad, the

bad habit?

I would, I would say bad habit. Okay. Uh, because if you look at the, the rest of the song, the context of the rest of the song, well, yeah. He goes, because it's breaking the habit, right? It's all, but he goes, I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream. I don't know why. Instigate what, say what I don't mean.

I don't know why I got this way. I, I know it's not right. So I'm breaking the habit. I'm breaking the habit tonight. Uh, but beyond that, if you go through the Resta song, it, it, it's not directly naming what said habit is. No, it's

vague. Right? Because everybody has some sort of habit that

could be broken.

Right. So that, that's. So go on, go on through the rest. I like your little bit of a

tilt there going on.

Shot it. I can never like, I hate

that though. I, I always have a hard time keeping my hat it seems straight while I'm at work. It always seems

to get off and I, I love now that I actually have a hat I can wear because I have one that actually fits my head.

So you can

kill your hair follicles

and go bald. Okay. Mother. Anyways, continue on with the song. What, what, was there anything about the lyrics that really stood out to you or that was I guess, that, that, that, that called out to you and you resonated with? Let me ask that first. Well, I mean,

it's just, it's, I don't know, like it's just addressing somebody that's seems to be greatly struggling.

Okay. With, I mean, who knows what it could be, what they're struggling with. Doesn't matter. No. Well, no. Okay. It doesn't, it just, obviously it's, it's. Whatever it is, it's very difficult on them. I'm,

let me ask you this, what do you, the bridge, that's where I was trying to say what, what do, what do you think verse two means?

Clutching my cure. I tightly locked the door. I try to catch my breath again. I hurt much more than any time before. I had no options left again, uh, suicide. Is that what you think? Well, as far

as

clutching my, yeah. What does clutching my cure mean? Sure.

Uh, I guess it would be someone's, what, what would you say called a vice or whatever, but I'm guessing either some kind of, uh, what's a depressant?

Uh, alcohol pills. Okay. I dunno. That's what goes in my mind. Okay. Because that's what people tend to want to go to, to feel. Okay.

All right. So you were starting to talk about the bridge then. Was there something, the bridge that really stuck out to you? Well, I guess from

what we talked about earlier. Okay.

Which is, I'll paint it on the walls cuz I'm the one at fault. I'll never fight again. And this is how it ends basically being

suicide. Okay. So in my mind, let me ask you this then, like lyrically mm-hmm. Did you like it? Did you not like it? Was there anything that stuck? Now we kind talked those main things, but was there anything that like, just, just really like jumps out you, like this is a, a very important piece of the song.

Was there anything that you would latch onto that?

I guess I would say, uh, I mean it's all important to some together. Um, I guess the bridge is like, in my mind, kind of like the climax of it. Um, yeah.

Okay. Why? No, I'm just asking cause I want your day, your, your opinions first before I jump into my analysis.

Anything else about the lyrics? I mean, I like them. You like 'em?

Oh yeah. Why? Absolutely. Well, I guess, I mean, I just,

I guess it's just a very raw, I guess, view of what people actually go through sort of thing where, I mean, people don't like to, well I guess now it's kind of changed where there's all like the whole like mental. Health stuff and whatnot. So that's, it's a lot more talked about now. But I mean especially, I don't know, I guess at the time of this, especially when this pop song was probably released, I can't imagine a lot of people were out talking about this kind of struggle.

I guess. I wouldn't imagine, granted at the time when this came out, I was a little kid.

Yeah, you were, you were, you were, how you were how old? Wait, this is what, 2003? Yeah, 2003. Yeah. So eight years old. You were eight years old. I was 20 years old. Okay. So, I

mean, at the same time I didn't see, you know, all of that was going on in conversation in the world and stuff like that.

But I mean, just growing up through like high school, like you didn't talk about having suicidal thoughts and stuff like that, or always being super depressed. I mean, I guess you had drugs and alcohol or a thing, but that was just to have fun. It wasn't to cover up anything that going with, if. With the thought of being clutching my cure kind of thing.

Uh, okay. But, oh man, I guess the pre-course is interesting. Um, I don't want to be the one that, I don't want to be the one that battles always who's, um, cuz inside I realize that, that I'm the one confused.

Mm-hmm. Why is it interesting? What, what makes you, when you read that say, this is interesting? What about those lyrics?

It's, I mean, it's just the first half of it. I don't want to be the one that ba I don't want to be the one that battles always choose. Okay. I guess what, how, how are the battles choosing him that,

what does that mean? All right. Like,

how does a battle choose you, I guess?

Yeah. Let's talk about that here.

Let's, let's talk. You got anything else on your legs? Okay, good. Mythical. Morning. Let's talk about that. It's been forever since I've seen that. I, I forgot even all about them. This was the, that just, all right. Yeah. So anything else on the lyric side? Uh, no, no, not right now. Okay. Let's get into what I wrote then.

Yeah. Okay. So I summarize the song first. By this angsty and depressed teens of the early two thousands were drawn to Lincoln Park and this song in particular, at the time, this was way before their one more light album, so, which, Uh, you know, I, I would say breaking the hav was kind of the prototype for a lot of other songs that were in Lincoln Park's repertoire as all the way up until one more light and heavy.

And I wrote that, you know, they were drawn to this, the angsty and depressed teens due to the themes the songs touches on in the three minute 15 second runtime, which when I told Aaron how many notes I had in three minutes, 15 seconds, he was not exactly happy. Oh, no, it wasn't that I

was, I wasn't unhappy.

I was just like, oh my gosh. Yep. How?

While the habit itself is not identifying the song, this is left Ambiguous on Purpose, uh, as a sleds listener identify with the myriad of issues. Uh, and make, is it personal to them, whatever issue they're going through, that knowing that it has been revealed in interviews that this song was inspired by a friend of Mike Shin Chinos Dear, who was having drug addiction problems.

This song was so impactful in fact that the lead singer Chester, was unable to perform the song live for many years due to him feeling too emotional because of the parallels between himself and the narrator of the song. Now, I do have to admit Ralph Go, if I'm being honest, Lincoln Park is one of my favorite bands.

I enjoy most of their music. I have most of their albums on my playlist, some of their later albums. I only have one or two songs, but at least I have some songs from their albums. Okay. Earlier albums like Matura or whatever, however you say it. Yeah. I have the entire thing and I'll probably have most of the 20th, or if not the whole thing of the 20th anniversary release on a playlist somewhere.

Probably won't be my daily music playlist, but it'll be a playlist somewhere. So, yeah.

I'm curious as to, for that whole 20th anniversary, I know there's a lot of live stuff. I wonder how many is going, is like repeats

of songs? Oh, they're all, they're all repeats. Oh, I have found all those live concerts on YouTube.

Oh, they're repeats, but they're, you know, each one's slightly different because it's a different tour. Okay. It's kind of cool. That's cool. Yeah. That's neat. Anyways, so lyrics, let's take a look at this. And Aaron, don't reveal my score that I wrote, cuz I did write my score in print at the top of each section.

I didn't ask you for your score on the lyrics yet. Hey. Yeah.

Okay. I didn't even, because I was, I

didn't even put that together. I was gonna come back to all the scoring at the end when we got through all the segments. So don't let these influence you at all. Okay. Too late. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. So here's what I wrote when going through the lyrics I wrote.

In fact, if you read through the lyrics, I don't, I I must have had something else in my head at the time when I wrote, in fact. But essentially, if you read through lyrics, you see the cry pain from the very first line. Memories consume, like opening the wound. It's picking me apart again now right away. And I'm gonna, you're gonna see this a lot here in this, my lysis.

I'm like, I can relate to this song in many different ways here. Okay? I can't tell you the number of times when I was younger and before you say something, yes, Aaron, there's a lot of years where I can say that I was younger in, you know, there's a lot of those. Okay. Yeah. So you don't have to say anything.

Okay. But there are a lot of times when I was younger where, when I was dealing with my depression, I would be in my room or just in my car alone, letting the memories of things flood over me. Uh, reliving each and every one, the good and the painful ones, but, Honestly, I always saw the pain in all those memories, even if they were quote unquote good ones.

Especially when going through depression. That's a qualifier there. Hmm. Okay. All right. And it felt like those memories, those things that either I was ashamed of, embarrassed of in that depressive state, those bad memories would just consume every waking thought, continuously bombarding me, continuously attacking me.

And it felt like it was opening wound over and over again and pouring salt right into that open, open wound that was forming inside my soul every single time. So I get that memories consume, like opening the wound, it's picking me at parking, literally felt like being torn apart for me. You know, those wounds.

Losing my father at the age of 14, that caused a lot of emotional pain in my life. Definitely did. Um, That picking me apart again, it, it, I get that it's just like anything that seemed to heal during the course of the year between depressive episodes, those memories would just literally destroy that healing that had been done and caused more damage instead.

So Mm. So looking at those first two lines, I'm like, yep. Okay. I get it. Boom. Cool. Cool. And then the next two lines, we're not even through verse one yet. Okay. You all assume I'm safe here in my room unless I try to start again. Our rooms as, or in my case, like my apartment, you know, as a teen or as an adult, our rooms, they're seen as our safe space.

Okay? Safe space. That's a place where people think we're gonna be safe. We're, we're not gonna try anything where we can feel comforted, where we can feel safe, you know, that's where our friends and families think that we're gonna be okay. In fact, if we're being honest, Those can be some of the most dangerous places for someone in a depressive mood because you're isolating yourself away from everyone else.

I am not saying a bedroom is a bad place to be. It is actually a good place to have somewhere to escape to once in a while. Sometimes you just need to get away from everyone and relax and decompress from things. But sometimes when you're, again, I'm reading this song through the filter of depression because I, I, that's how I associate with it, right?

Mm-hmm. Being in a room alone sometimes like that where you're fully isolated, is so dangerous cuz one of the worst things you can do when you're depressed is isolate yourself from everyone else. And I did write in here and, and I should have said Aaron, it should say Aaron, I'm reading my own experiences into a song.

Because art is subjective in a few ways, especially lyrics. So don't at me. I just remember that now that was meant for you, Aaron, Mr. Johnson. Yes. So, and we can get isolated, right? Mm-hmm. Um, and while sometimes, especially when depressed sleep, they seem like it is never enough. You know? Especially for icing ourselves in our room.

And that I, I, I hope you've never felt that where you felt like you can never get enough sleep because of depression and all that. It sucks. Do not recommend it. Zero out of 10. Do not visit again, do not recommend. Uh, but that's how it is sometimes, right? And that inability to feel like you ever have enough sleep, it can keep you away from those who may care.

It may even prevent you from being around people who may actually intervene if you try to do something stupid. And when I say something stupid, I mean, take your own life arm in some way. I'm not even saying just arm. Yeah, like cutting your arm. I'm just adding, yeah. Uh, we can, when we're away from the eyes of people like that, we, we could harm ourselves, whether it be with pills or a weapon or any of the other thing like that.

So the main assumption that people have that, Hey, you're in your room, you're safe, you're fine, you're great. That may be the least safe place for you. And in the case of this song, what I think is happening is he's saying, Hey, you assume I'm safe in my room. And especially if you come at this with a thought of the, the person that inspired this was dealing with drug addiction.

Yeah. They're, you're assuming that they're safe in the room, but what if they have some drugs hidden in that room where they can start again? They can start

taking drugs. Oh, drugs again. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, does that make some more sense? Yeah. It's like, oh, okay. You know, like I rodee in here, at least in the car because there were times when, uh, I was my.

Ma last major depressive episode where I would spend time in the car. Yeah. Uh, until I felt safe enough to go back in the house. Cuz at least in the car people could see me from all around in the house. No one could see me. So if I chose, I guess so if I chose to do something, yeah. At least in the car, people would see maybe intervene.

But at the same time, I also knew I could be seen in the car. So it stopped me from doing something stupid, if that makes sense. I know. Now looking back at it, it doesn't always make the most sense. Well right. But in that moment it seemed to make the most sense. Okay. Which is good. Now we get back to the pre course, which you said was interesting.

No, I'm breaking up every two lines. Paragraph, two lines, paragraph. Cuz that's how I, I do it. That's just how you, okay. Yeah. And I talk about this, here I go because the pre-course is, I don't want to be the one, the battles always choose. Cuz inside I realize that I'm the one confused. First off, beautiful rhyming, beautiful chef kiss, chef ski.

Yeah. Why? Why are you going? Yeah, it was good. Right? Okay. But what I wrote was this, I wrote Oof. I and I, you've heard that, uh, on social media, the video, like the kid going, oof. Oof. Yeah. I need that. Like, that's what I mean when I say oof. I mean that. Yeah. Oof. This hits hard. Yeah. Um, and I, right in here, I remember my last depressive, major depressive episode.

I didn't say, My last major depressive episode. That was, yeah, end of 2017, start of February, 2018. Uh, this phrase, leaving my mouth, going through my head all the time. And this phrase was, I'm so tired of fighting and I don't want to fight anymore. Now this is a warning signal for those around me. And, um, if I had been honest and shared that with all of you at the time, I don't think I did for longest time, shared that phrase with really anyone.

It took me a while before I did, if I ever did.

I'm, you kind of, I'm trying to get the timeline on this, but I do remember driving with you and my truck and I was like, I was in love with this one song, um, by third day. Oh, uh, it was, it was Rise Up. Okay. And there's like, uh, There's something about roll, like rising up or whatever, and like basically just keep going.

And then I remember you saying that. I was like, what if you don't want to? And I was like,

go. I was like, oh no. I was like, oh gosh.

Yeah. At the time I was just like, holy crap. I was like, at least in the head, I was just like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. But yeah, I think that was, I think that was probably the closest that

comment ever was said.

Yeah. It might have been to you the closest I got to saying it. Yeah. I think to Andy, I did say that phrase at one point, but that it was after that even still. Yeah. Yeah. So it took me a while to even say it. Yes. I, I, I freely admit that. Okay. Um, but that, that phrase of I don't want to be the one, the battles always choose.

There's no logical reason for that, where you feel like you're chosen to fight. But it, it felt like for whatever reason, God in this weird, crazy, cosmic way was going, Hey, guess what? Hey, you get to fight the next thing. I don't care. Fight, fight, fight the next thing, fight whatever the, that next thing is.

And when you're going through a depressive disorder, it doesn't matter what it is, it just feels like every day, every minute is a new fight over something. Yeah. It's a, it's a fight to get outta bed. It's a fight to take a shower. It's a fight to live. It's a fight to go to work. It will, it's a fight to fake a smile.

It's a fight to do all of that. Yeah. It's a fight to stay alive. Mm-hmm. And it feels like every day, it's like you, you, you just kind of got that little rubber stamp and you, Hey, guess what? You get to do this fight. Congratulations.

Get ready for the next one.

Yep. And, and it feels confusing at the time. It feels like every day is just a battle to live through it.

And it was draining. I mean, to some degree it is, but yeah. Yeah, then it continues. I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream. I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean. Now, if you read that under the context of a drug addicted person mm-hmm. You know, at that point you could kind of see like, man, how the drug has kind of like taken hold and you get that.

Yeah. I don't know what we're fighting for or why I have to scream. You know, if, if you have something that where your body is just screaming out for it, you can't have it. You're like, why am I fighting for this? What's going on? But of course, guess what I did? I, I wrote about the through depressive, uh, filter.

Happy Depression Day.

There, there's a way to think about Aaron and I wrote, this is what I wrote. I said, when you are in an alter mental state, Sometimes it doesn't seem clear. Why the heck we continue to fight for things we thought we wanted? The things that in our sober and clear minds seem so clear is worthwhile goal in the state of mental confusion due to depression, drug addiction, et cetera, seem like the things that are no longer worthwhile to pursue and seem like they are not worth that fight anymore.

I often ask myself when I was going through my depression, why do I keep fighting to stay alive? Why do I try to stay alive? Why do I care about staying alive? And I'm sure that someone going through a drug addiction is probably asking the same thing at times, you know? Oh yeah. I can honestly say I never had those cravings of a drug addict.

Thankfully, I've never done anything to. You know where I've been that except maybe caffeine, but you know that that's a far different thing from like, uh, someone addicted to heroin or alcohol, where they are physically dependent upon that drug, right? Mm-hmm. And their body is just craving it for so, so strongly.

But I can easily see that, you know, that can that cry, that pain through these lyrics. In fact, all the lyrics up to this point can easily, and as we know, it's inspired by someone going through drug addiction, relate to someone addicted to drugs. This is why I think not specifically naming the thing, the habit causing the pain, confusion, assault makes it such more, makes it so much more relatable, right?

For people, they're able to take their own experiences into the song. The next line, I don't know how I got this way. I know it's not all right. This is that lament that even as a drug addict, they go, I don't know how I got here. What, what's the path that I did? A lot of people, and you hear this for people who have been addict to drugs I've talked to.

Yeah. They go, it started out, it's just fun. It started out as this, it started out as that whatever it was, right? An escape, a relaxation, whatever. Yeah. And they're like, how did I get here? Because that addiction doesn't seem to be reality at times because they're just chasing that high. Right? I don't know if you've ever seen the, it was a little YouTube video.

It was like this little wingless, like bird blob. The first time it had drugs. It flew up so high into the sky and it was all great. Right? And then it comes crashing down and so it tries the drugs again, but it doesn't get up as high again. So, so it keeps trying and it doesn't go up as high and it just keeps, oh, and eventually it gets all dirty and bruised and sore and hurt.

But that's just when you gotta try a new one.

Really Johnson. I mean, that's what happened. I mean,

alright, this is just, all right, this made me think of, um, the, that show euphoria. Okay. A little bit because I mean that the, one of the main characters, the chick or whatever is, uh, like a drug addict and she ends up going to like, like AA meeting kind of stuff and whatnot.

Or some drugs. Um, I guess I, I don't know the, like, the name for it, but yeah. A meeting for people that are struggling to get over drug addiction and stuff like that. Yeah. And like I remember, um, with the line, um, I don't know why I instigate and say things I don't mean cuz at one point, sorry, spoilers if anybody's watching that or I don't know, whatever.

It's from the, I mean he watched the first

whole season, but future me throw up the spoiler warning tag. Spoiler.

Um, anywho, um, she goes for more drugs from her friend. And at this point he was like, no. Like, that's it. I'm done. Mm-hmm. Because he sees that it's obviously destroying her, and he no won't, he knows that that's what drugs do.

Um, so she's going off, she's yelling at him saying how he, she hates him, all this other stuff. But then, I mean, later on afterwards, sometime afterwards she apologizes kind of thing and whatever they make that right. But, uh, I mean, it's, it just goes from one after another after another type of drug, and then you just look for that next one to give you that, I guess, high feeling again.

And, but then yeah, as you say, you get so far and it's just like uhhuh. Okay. It just gets less and less and you're just trying to take it just to feel normal again. And now you're just Yep. But that's, and I mean that was, that's the scary thing about it. Just like even like experimenting with drugs and doing it for fun.

Cuz then you get in the next exciting thing, it's like, whoa, is this really cool? And then it's not anymore. Um, cuz like yeah, she, I think in the, yeah, in the show, like she ends up, what they say is tries fentanyl and that as like, whew, that's a hot thing right now. Thinking like then that for her, she said that was like the most like amazing, I guess high she has ever had, or most intense whatever.

But obviously's also extremely deadly depending on how much you have. Mm-hmm. Obviously. But it doesn't take much apparently. But. Yeah. It is one of those things where you just branch off into something more extreme and more harmful as time goes on. Hmm. Right. Until you realize,

man, you're, that you need help.

That you can't do it alone. It's not all right. And I wrote on here, depression slash drug addictions are hard things to get over solo. These arms require help and assistance from others to make things right. And I often thought myself to myself, you know, obviously not drug addict, so I can't speak to that phraseology in that, but mm-hmm.

You know, I thought during my last major depressive episode, I often asked how the heck I even got to this point, you know? And I would take time to kind of analyze it. Mm-hmm. And that it's not something I wanted, not something that I, but now that I look back at it, I see how it's all connected and how it all happened, but, Even then during that time when I was like, Jesus Louise, this is not good.

I was able to admit to myself, you know what? I'm not all right. Right.

Then came the phrase, it's okay to not be okay.

Oh yeah. That we, we could talk about that one later. Yeah. And then of course we end the chorus with, so I'm breaking the habit. I'm breaking the habit tonight. And I'm like, yep. I've said that to myself, especially in my depressive episodes.

I've said that to myself so many times. Um, I said that this was the last time that it was gonna get better, that I was done being depressed. And here's the thing, I had to realize I couldn't do that on my own. I couldn't do that without help, and I couldn't do that unless I sought help. And it's the same for people going through drug addiction.

You know, people are like, ah, and you, you hear those stories once in a while. People who are like, well, I, I'm gonna do this through willpower. And you might get someone that does it once in a while that disabled to do that once a while, but that's rare. That's rare. Yeah. You know, it, it's. It's good to say that you're committed to getting better, but it's hard to do that.

Um, but you need that commitment to get better, especially when you reach out for help that mm-hmm. But you eventually get to that point where you're like, I'm, I'm done with this. I am no longer dealing with, with this. And that's a good point to be at. Oh yeah. So the next thing, verse two, I did all verse two together just cuz I thought it fit all pretty well together.

Okay. Clutching my cure. I tightly locked the door. I try to catch my breath again. I hurt much more than any time before. I had no options left again. And here's why I wrote the, I need that oof sound effect. I need that oof sounder, because this is just me over and over with the song. Did we just go? Oof, oof, oof.

Okay. Uh, so verse two, again, reading this through the light, the lens of depression, it really sums up depression for me. There were times or things seems. To hurt more than ever. Um, and the that's was a regular thing with depression essentially wouldn't have got worse. It hurt more, okay. When things seem darker than they had ever been.

And somehow the next day it got even darker is what I wrote, which was always weird thing, you know, you're like, oh, it can't get worse. And then it is now the next day, oh, it got worse. Okay. You saw it, ma'am. Okay. And I never wrote, I would use a lot of things as my cure for the temporary time being, um, knowing that the cure was not a permanent solution, but a temporary pax patch to fix the immediate pain that I was facing mentally.

It was a cure as far as my brain and emotions were concerned. This cure included food, alcohol. Socially and alone. Um, and I even wrote to the point that one time Larissa asked if I was okay because of how fast I was going through the drinks one night, which was out of ordinary for me. When your bartender says, Hey, you're going through alcohol faster than normal, what's, this is unusual.

What's going on? That's usually, uh, an indicator that something's probably wrong. And the fact that you're willing to do that in public and outside of your bedroom, outside of your safe space alone, out prying eyes, really tells you that it's probably escalated to a bad point. I suppose so, because you don't care what others think anymore at that point.

You're like, I need something to temporarily fix this pain, this void, this hurt in me. Yeah. I, I'm just talking from my own experience. Well, no, yeah. I'm not talking

generality. I'm just trying to think of, I mean, Well, obviously thankfully Larissa didn't care. Or notice Yeah. Say shoot, depending on the people in there, they'd be like, all right, keep

going.

Uh, yeah, I know. You know, I know. Trust me. Uh, looking back on now, I'm like, yeah, I know. I, I, I can from

especially with the people that don't know you obviously then Yeah. With her kind of knowing us, she kinda, that was good for her to be able to pick up on that. She was kinda like, Hey,

what the heck? This is different.

What's going on? Yeah. Yeah. Other things I used as my temporary cures pornography. Um, at one point I know I did consider cutting. Thankfully I didn't, but I know that that was one of the things that I, I thought about like, cuz for me getting rid of that, yeah, I did do, I did right here, I did do our things such as like pinching myself, biting myself on the cheeks, et cetera.

It, it stretched from that mental pain with some physical pain. Which is why I considered cutting even at some point. Thankfully I didn't. But I know that that is a very valid thing that a lot of people with depression do. So it's those things that you look for as the temporary cures for that, whatever that issue is going on.

Hmm. You know, for whatever the drug addiction is, there might be things that are temporary cures. Maybe that's another hit of the drug. Maybe that's, you know, whatever. Okay. Is,

sorry, this is totally random. Yeah. But for the biting my cheeks thing, Uhhuh,

so that's n i it's you some people do it normally.

Okay. Yeah. Just out of whatever habit. Okay. This was, this was a low extreme. Right. So this, this was intentionally doing it, not just like absentmindedly doing it. Oh no,

I, I mean, cuz like, I guess I, I definitely do quite a bit.

I mean, there, there's some out of habit. Yeah. There, there, there's some people who do it out of habit.

Right, right. And, and and, and they just like absentmindedly. That's why I said absentmindedly out of habit, do it. But me, I was intentionally like moving my cheek between the teeth intentionally. Yeah. I guess I am too. So, yeah. But like is, you said out of habit, right? Mm-hmm. It's not that you're really thinking about it, you just kind of do it out of habit.

You just like, I guess me, I was like literally like going like this. Like I would then go, I mean I do that sometimes too and, and, and bite on it. Yeah. To try to dull away from the mental pain. Mm-hmm. So it, it's, it, there's a difference between intentionally doing it, intentionally causing yourself some pain and unintended it because you're just absentmindedly doing, you're out of habit.

Yeah. I'm not causing, you're not causing yourself to bleed. But, uh,

well, not a long time I suppose. Yeah. But, uh, no, I guess I just wondered about that cuz I was like, shoot. Like going to the dentist and stuff like that. Like, they'll make note on, oh, this person is biting their cheeks or whatever. I was like, th they're not like, is that, I was like, that doesn't have to do with depression, does it?

They're like, they're not thinking about

that. No, they're probably not thinking about that. They're probably thinking about it for other things.

Okay. Because I was just like, I, I just thought about it. I was like, shoot. I was like, if like people with the depression do that, I was like, I wonder if that's something they, I try to pay attention to and be

like, I don't know if that's something that's necessarily, uh, a common thing that I just know my dentist.

I just know for me that that was something I tried to do to dull the mental pain. Yeah.

Okay. So, okay. No, I just thought, I was like, oh,

interesting. Okay, so the one line in here, I tightly lock the door, right? The line tight, like the door. Uh, to me how I'm reading that it means doing whatever the cure was in secret, because Yeah, you don't want anyone knowing, right.

Because I, and I wrote, because at least in my case, I knew that for the most part, these cures were not something that was good. Right? That's what I wrote. If it was good, I would not be ashamed to do it in public. Mm-hmm. There's a difference between self soothing when going through a crisis moment and doing something that is destructive.

Mm-hmm. Due to completely different things. And when you self-soothe, when going through a crisis moment, it is meant to be a temporary and eventually things return to normal. What I was doing, it never returned back to normal. That's why it was, it was kind of also self soothing. You should never hurt, you know, cause yourself physical pain to try to get rid of mental pain.

That's not a self soothing thing. Okay. And then the lines, I tried to catch my breath again. AK just trying to live, just trying to feel like normal, getting back to normal. Mm-hmm. But this line here, I had no options left again cuz it was either the cure or death for me, for me, what I'm saying back then.

Mm-hmm. It was either the cure, the alcohol, the food, the pornography. Mm-hmm. The whatever, or it was, I was going to swallow pills.

Okay. Yeah, that, that's again, I read this whole song through my own lens, so mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Very uh, downer episode. I, I get that. You mean, I mean the, yeah

man at the beginning mean it was already known that this song is a depressing zone

now. So they repeat the pre-course in the course a few times.

The last chunk of new lyrics is the bridge. I'll paint it on the walls cuz I'm the one at fault. I'll never fight again. And this is how it ends. And I wrote, hello? Oof my old friend. It's good to see you once again. You know, I'll fly on. Hello? Darkness. Mild friend. Okay. Um, again, artist subjective, interpret through the lens of.

The one consuming it. So I consumed these lyrics through the lens of someone who dealt with depression and thought about ending their own life. Mm-hmm. This one resonates because there were times where I told myself that I was a reason that no one wanted to be friends anymore with me. Mm-hmm. That I was the reason everyone was going on them with their own lives without me.

That I did something to make them upset that I was a reason for whatever. Mm-hmm. You name it, that was what I thought myself to believe and in a twisted way for a person going through that, the line I'll never fight again. Seems to be a comforting thought. I'll never have to fight with my own mind, my loneliness, being with anything again, because this is how it all ends with my own message on the wall.

That message being either my vomit on the walls or my blood on the walls after shot, uh, swallowing a shotgun. Okay. Hmm. Look, I'm not making fight light of this situation at all. I had a cousin who, uh, my age, he's my age. Well, Would be my age if he was still alive. Yeah. In 2007, basically put a shotgun in his mouth.

And this is the worst way to say it, but it relates to the song he painted, the kitchen walls with his brains and blood. Yep. Okay. That's not a fun call to get when you're outta state and get a call like that from your family. Like, Hey, your cousin just ate a shotgun, essentially. Yeah. And, and that led to, and I think I've told you this before, the saddest first year birthday ever.

Mm-hmm. Where we celebrated his son's birthday at Chucky Cheese that he had prepaid for, and that he had done this act only a few days before his son's first birthday. Saddest, saddest, um, thing. And, and, and

that had to be the most gruesome. Thing for my aunt, my uncle, to walk into and see their own son's sp brains against the wall. And unfortunately that was the only message that any of us got that he was dealing with stuff like this. Mm-hmm. None of no one knew about anything else. And I get it, depression is a hard thing to talk about, and especially for guys, guys don't wanna open up guys aren't, uh, I'm gonna be all emotional now and that and that type of thing.

Okay. Girls, you give 'em like a glass of water and they start crying over how it reminds 'em of their ex-boyfriend from like 10 years ago, even though they're married now.

For some Yes.

Thankfully not for all I know. Um, so what I wrote was that in the end this song seemed to be a prototype for Laar songs throughout the life of Lincoln Park, culminating and heavy on one more light. Chester was a man that faced his own demons of depression. And as we are aware, he did succumb to these demons and took his own life in July of 2017 at the age of 41 years old, which is really, when I think about it, I'm turning 40 this year.

Mm-hmm. And I'm like, wow. Yeah, that, that, that's a warning that I still have to keep vigilant on it. I can't just sit on my laurels, so to speak on it. It, it's one of those things I still have to be vigilant and, and, uh, challenge, I guess to you, Mr. Johnson as well. You still have to be vigilant on my be half or me to make sure that I'm not doing, like you don't start seeing patterns in me mm-hmm.

That are like, Hey, warning, warning, warning, danger. Will Roberts in danger

looking for the. The box. A guy from festivals, like, that's the first time I've seen you buy alcohol in a long time.

Fair enough. But do you notice I haven't like take a time. See, I

even, I've only took a

sip in my own. I know. Good job. Wha And the last thing I wrote, I, I wrote the lyrics section was this, once you have been through the Valley of Depression, it's a thing to keep an eye on is it can crop back up without much warning.

And it's something that I do keep an eye on to this day in this song, I think is a warning to keep an eye on that. But at the same time, it's also a warning of what happens when someone's dealing with those issues that they cannot be along. Cause otherwise that bridge will come true of I'll paint it on the walls.

Yep. And what you paint on the walls may be your final act ever.

Yeah. Depending, yeah. If it's not content time. Yeah. Depending on. What the route

is. Yep. So those are their lyrics, as depressing as they were.

Hmm. Oh yeah. No, it's, it's a heavy

song. All right. Let's talk about, he's got a lot of heavy stuff. Well, that's what I said. This is kinda like that prototype song.

Yeah. That a lot of other songs draw from Right. Now let's talk about something a little bit happier then the musicality of it. What'd you think? Depressing. Really? You thought the musicality was depressing?

It was a faster song.

Okay. Um, did anything stand out to you about the song? Anything in part, let me ask this.

Was there anything in particular about the song that you liked musically? Not lyrically. Musically. It was an actual

band. If we're comparing this to the first, uh, reaction song we chose.

Okay. An actual band. Anything else that you,

and Guitar and distortion and. Um, I mean it's, I mean, it's a, I dunno, there's not a whole lot going on, right?

It's simplistic song for the most part. I mean, it's got, it's got its main little guitar riff going on there. Um, I mean, yeah, this song is definitely, uh, focused on the vocals. Mm-hmm. That's the biggest takeaway in this song. I mean, the drums don't do anything crazy. I mean, yeah. As far as instrumentation goes, it's very, it's pretty simple as far as I like listening to it.

Um, but good, it's sketchy. It's, like I said, it's more faster er paced, so it's exciting in that aspect. Um, kind of peppy, just like. Fun to bop too, kind of, which is

All right. Fun to bop to. Yeah, man. What are you, I see, what are you a teeny bopper now? Yeah, I know.

Um, I like music. Yeah. Um,

but

uh, yeah, it's, it's one of, it's, it's kind of funny cause it's also, it's not like a, just straight up like happy sounding tune.

Right. Because it's funny, I was just having a conversation with the coworker again the other day was how it's like, you know, you have these songs that are so upbeat and like fun kind of songs, but then the lyrics are just like, so in a sense I was like, it's kind of there, but it's not. Cuz it does have some sort of more.

Do a mashup of delirious happy song instrumentation with the lyrics of this song. Don't even know what that is.

Wait. Oh wait. Is it the, the I'm happy. Is it the,

the I'll play for you later? Doesn't matter. It's like I could, um, later, dude,

later. We did it later. Okay.

Um, can't do it. Do it to copyright reasons right now.

Ah, that makes sense.

Stupid. Um, yeah, I, there's nothing I see. Yeah. There's nothing that's like super standoutish about it. Okay. It's, it, it is the vocals, which I guess that's part of the, I mean, the voice is an instrument.

Yeah. And Chester carries it. Oh

my gosh. Yeah. Chester,

Chester, Mike make a very good music duo.

Vocally. Yes. But Chester was what carried Lincoln Park. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I, that was the thing I loved about, I mean, man, he, he just had a, he did have a voice. Yep. Um, especially when you'd get to like that part where it's like, he's like, it's like borderline, like he's screaming something, but he is still hitting a note, but it's got like that rassier like toughness to it where it's kind of grainy almost.

I just, oh man. I, yeah. When he would get into the spots like that, which would be the bridge in this song, right. Um, where he really hits that. Okay. And he is just in a high, well, I suppose for dudes in a high like register, I suppose. I don't know. I guess I don't know what, what to classify a had register for a male is, but I would say he's got one.

Um, yeah. Okay. Yeah. So what I wrote here, uh, was this, I'm a sucker for something that is a blend of music styles and I am, I admit it fully am I'm a fan of rock with horns, jazz or banded corporate style circus trucks, et cetera. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I am. Call me what you want. Make it an insult Sky boy.

Here I am, dude. I'm gonna change all my online names. Toka Boy, sky Boy 83. Oh gosh. That's my new Tarka name. Oh, sky Boy, Scott Boy.

83 I, there is some cool Scott

stuff. Yeah. And I'm not talking of the cheesy Scott. I'm talking like the Good Sky. No, but even then I'm a, I'm a fan of not, not just Scott in general cuz sky's his own style.

I'm a style of like the rock with the horns still in that, which is kind of cool. Right? Like Chicago. Chicago. I'm thinking of like Five Iron Frenzy. They start out as AKA band, but a lot more rock with some horns. Yeah. Um, Guess I wrote here. I guess you could say. That's all the way down to my jeans, uh, being half Mexican, half European mutt.

I like the mixing of things from the very GetGo.

So, hey, fair. I wrote, so that for me, this blend of early two thousands, rock with electronica hit the right spot for me from the very, from the very start. Yes. It's a little more What, why do you

like I'm, I'm trying to, I'm just playing, like trying to play the song in my head, thinking of the electronic, so

like the keys and like the scratching of the record table and all that, that, that's the little bit of electronic that's in there.

It's, it's a very little bit, but here's the thing. Um, yeah, it's, it's simple like you said. Mm-hmm. Uh, but way more complex on Sam Smith's unholy. It's, it's not just boom. Oh my gosh. It's not

just that. There's a lot more than that, do it.

But yes. And I wrote between the two, it's night and day musically. It's not the simple button, but um, it's actually has a few things going for it.

In fact, the intros electronic has more moving parts in it than most of the unholy song. Beyond the intro. Chester's vocals carry the song with electronica and guitar harmonizing guitar electronica. In this case I is mostly keyboard stuff for them. Um, the random little drum, I don't, I don't know what you call it, but it was like this rapid, like kid on the snare drums multiple times sounded almost electronic, like an electronic drum, but emphasized certain portions of the song, calling attention to it and separating it from the previous portion.

For example, right before the pre-course, right before verse two, right before I hurt much more than anything before. And during the middle of, I'll paint it on the walls and I'll never fight again. Right between those two lines, it's like this rapid, like fired, like snare drum hit. I don't know if he caught that or not.

And it is like separating it out, calling attention that there's something important here. Uh, separating it from the previous part and, and bringing an emphasis to that. Next, those next couple words, there. I don't know if he caught that or not, or I mean, if it isn't, I

might just be thinking of it as a small little

fill.

It, it, it sounds like a little fill, but I It's intentional, like it's intentional at those specific parts. Well, I mean, yeah. Phil's intentional sometimes. Most of the times. Hopefully, uh,

yeah. Right. Um, I'll

have to listen to that. Yeah. And I, and I do wrote, the Keys are very repetitive, but they add, but they add a sustaining melody behind everything that allows Cheshire's vocals to dance around the rest of the instrumentation going on.

Um, this isn't an excuse for repetitive keys, but why? It was probably done Well, I mean,

guess if you wanna look at any, well, no, not any song cuz some bands literally just don't repeat stuff, but 90. Eight to 99% of popular music is all repetitive.

As my jazz band instructor said, if you're gonna repeat a phrase musically, gotta make it important, uh, no, not make it important.

You change at least one thing on the repeat. On the repeat. Yep. You make each repeat. Just like adding layer. Lightly different. Yeah. He's like, if you're gonna repeat something in jazz, there has to be some difference on the repeat, which I thought was interesting. Yeah. All right. Music video, sir. What were your thoughts on the music video?

Okay. I

don't know. I didn't spend a whole lot of time on that. It was

interesting summary of the music video. Yeah. Just not a fan of it. I mean,

I mean, obviously you see that there's like the different,

why do you hate Japanese culture, sir? I'm sorry. I dunno. I'm kidding. I don't,

I swear.

Um, it'll be clear why I said that in a second.

Oh. Within the, I mean, I guess, yeah, it's interesting to see like the, I guess the struggle happening with the people in the music video and stuff like that. I mean, I don't know. I, I like, I like the band moments where a shows like the dude's playing. I don't know. I always like watching the band play.

Okay.

Um, even though it's animated version of the band playing. Yeah. It's okay. It's

okay. Fair enough. It's fine. Um, nah, I don't really have a whole lot on the whole, not the

music, video. Video. Oh. Well, as I have like a whole page.

I know. I see. You got plenty. Okay.

Hot diggity. So let me ask this then. Did you enjoy the music video?

Not enjoy it, or you could live without it? I'm, I'm very easy to please. I know Salesman love you, Uhhuh. Yeah, I know.

Um, no, it, I definitely continuously wa I like, I would go outta my way to keep watch it again. Okay. Sort of thing. Like, if I'm hopping onto YouTube saying I wanna listen to this song, like I will intentionally play the music vi video

one.

Okay. I, I'm just going to, uh, edit my disclaimer here. In total, I reviewed and watched this video, I think close to 30 times.

Disclaimer here. Sam Smith was like 20 sometimes. Just fyi. What, just fyi, you. Just fyi. I'm sorry.

That's rough. I probably, well, I probably watched

seven

to 10 times. Yeah. So I, I don't go into any of this half-hearted. I go in full bore. I lost track of the number of times I watch or not, um, not watched, listened to the song. Oh yeah. But of course I've listened to the song all the time cuz it's on my playlist. Spoiled alert for later. Um, anyways, what I wrote about this music video, you could see it's, has a anime inspiration to it right from the get-go.

Right? Right from the opening scene. Right from the opening first note. In fact, if you look closely at the police tape, early on in the video, you could see letters which are not English. I don't know exactly what language if they are Japanese or not, but they are one of those languages that uses a symbol like Japanese.

I hope that doesn't sound racist. I'm sorry, Amy.

It's not your fault, you don't know the language, it's okay.

But based on like, like even if you look at the police officers in the video, they've are very Asian in the poli the police officers in the video, at the very start, they're by the police tape with the very, I don't know what type of characters, um, the police tape, but it's a yellow police tape.

That's the only reason I know it's a police tape and there's police standing by and it's around a police car. Gee, I wonder is police related? Uh, gee, I wonder what's going on. But we open in the video with, if you haven't seen it, Chester laying on the roof of a police car. The roof is crumpled in as though he had just fallen on top of it.

And then you see what looks like a, for lack of a better term, a spirit coming out of him leaving his body and flows into the building next with their vents. And what we do then is we see the story of three different people, or three different groups of people, I should say, because one of them's a, a couple.

The first person we see a lady, um, in it, you see her write some words. What, what words does she write on the paper?

She writes, is it just by or No, she writes, I'm worthless. Oh, she writes on the paper, right? And then what you see is you see in the room the, where she's at a broken mirror in front of her and she picks up one of the, the shards of glass from the broken mirror. You see her hold it to her arm and all of a sudden you see blood just sliding down, which indicates she either cut her hand or cut her wrist, probably indicating she cut her wrist.

Rys going to kill herself. And the next thing you see is that I'm worthless letter. Her hand go across it, slide down it with blood just sliding over the I'm worthless. And she went all right with the tracks. Yeah. So that, that's what we see there. It then moves on to the next person, which is a drug addict.

You see him kind of like wrestling with his own demons, wrestling with that addiction, wrestling with one to see do the drugs, and you kind of see some of that going on. But, um, what I liked and, and I thought was interesting because the same Smith video did the same thing where at the beginning of the Sam Smith video of unholy, remember the guy, like there's those flashes of red where he is thinking about what he's going to do, what his desire is to do.

Yeah. This guy was doing the same thing with the drugs. It was those red flashes of his desire of what he wanted there. And they both, I found that an interesting mirror of these two desires that these two different people wanted. Oh. That were mirroring each our styles of videos. But this video is back from 2003.

Yeah. I was like, huh, that's interesting. What do you

think Sam Smith

ripped him off? I, no, because because that's a very, I was cuz that's a very common thing. Exactly. Exactly. It's a, it's a very common thing. But I found it very interesting that Yeah, the first two song things we did, there we go over the heads.

They have that in there. Okay. So before we see him really injecting himself, we go away and we go to like a nursing, and it's this woman, you see her crying and then a man walks in and she starts throwing tomatoes at him as he like, is dodging them. And, and we're like, wait, what, what, why? And we, we don't know yet.

Right? And then we see something interesting, the spirit reenters chester's body, and we see time flowing in reverse. So it's like someone just went, mm-hmm let's go back in reverse. And now we get to see all these scenes going in reverse. And then we get to see a little bit before what happened with all the scenes.

So we go back to the, the first lady, right? And you see her hand going back up the page and the blood going back in her and everything. And then you see, you, we don't see what caused her to be in the despair, but we see her taking something, throwing it at the mirror, breaking it, you know, we g we go back and we see the guy and we see him walk, you know, we see that eventually he does inject himself, but we see him walking down the hall, like grabbing as tied, just kinda like twisting it back and forth, like wrestling with himself, wrestling with these ideas and desires and things he knows he shouldn't do.

And then you go back to the woman and you see a, the tomatoes come back, well actually we see a new scene that we hadn't seen yet before. We see her laying on the ground, holding at her, obviously pregnant stomach, like she'd just been beaten. And then we see the tomatoes coming off of the walls, you know, where that scene of her being beaten while pregnant was just after her.

Throwing the tomatoes at her husband or boyfriend or whatever, that reverses a little bit more. And we see her walking in on her Hu, her husband or her boyfriend or whatever in bed within our woman. And now we know the context. She's pregnant with his kid and he's cheating and sleeping around on her with someone else.

And like we get these little grass, little glimpses into these three dynamic stories. And then Chester flies up off of the police car into the air on top of a of building. And now we just watched the animated band for the rest of the video. And part of me goes, I want to know what happened with these three stories.

I don't care about you three jumping up on, I don't care about you all jumping around on this building. I wanna know what happened with these three stories over here that you told me part of and didn't finish well, just cuz they didn't go back forward. I wanna know what happened. I, I wanna know me more about what happened before.

This is just me also being like, I wanna know the full story. I don't want just little glimpses of

stories. I mean, I guess yeah, you don't, cause you,

cuz I mean cuz you get the story of the pregnant girl.

Yeah. You get a little bit of, you get hers is the most complete, the most you get. Yeah. Yeah. The others, they're like, I wanna know, and I wrote on here, it takes a very dramatic star of the video, makes it a dull ending. But I did say, but to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, it would be hard to match the energy all the way through of that and make it dramatic all the way through stylistically.

I liked it. Yeah. But I, I'll reserve my rating for it for the end here. So actually let me ask you this. Uh, the last thing then, relating to the Bible biblically accurate thing. You knew that answer was coming. That question was coming. Not that answer. Yeah, that question.

Um,

I guess how, how to relate it to,

yeah. How, how well does it, Hmm. This is actually probably the sort shortest segment I wrote for all of us, Lord, because it's for this.

I mean, it's nothing, I don't know. There's not a whole lot there, I suppose. Okay. Um, I guess I, yeah.

All right. Not a whole lot there. There's not, I. I mean, don't, okay. No, that's, that's, that's fair. You don't need to do a, like an in-depth analysis. But my question then is on a scale of one to five Yeah. How well does it relate to the Bible?

Yeah, I mean,

uh, I mean it doesn't,

but how, duh, this is gonna be just like that unholy thing. Ugh, good.

This

cuz there's obviously all sorts of struggle in the Bible. Yeah. I mean there's depression and I mean suicide and all sorts of stuff in the Bible too. So, I mean, that stuff is in the

Bible very much so. But how well does it relate?

No, I hid my notes so you can't cheat.

It's not touchable. Um, I'll just pull it up on my phone. I probably can't even do that. Maybe

I can. You actually probably could. I could, but anyways, um,

I,

I mean it does, but it doesn't, I don't know. So, one five, shoot. What,

how do you do a one to five when it's, it's like yes or no, but Yes. But, uh, shoot, I'll give it a three.

Brick. Okay. You give it a three. All right. Aaron gives it a three for relaying to the Bible. How about music video? What do you rate that? I, it's a cool video. One to five,

go the middle of the road and do three.

Okay. How about the music?

Three and a half. Four. Three and a half. Four. Pick a whole number

because like it's oh four. Okay. Yeah. Uh, what about the lyrics? Yeah, one to five. Four. Four. Now.

Oh, that's so

dumb.

God,

are you sticking with four?

Uh, four. No. Yeah. That's okay. And four, the last question. Hmm. Will this song make it into one? Oh, of course. Okay. Without he hesitation. Interesting. So, no, no, just interesting. Wait, it is just

like a playlist to listen to again, right. Scored, scored.

Question. You scored this higher than I did.

Uh, yeah. No surprise. I did unholy hair than you did too, so,

well, yeah, unholy. But I, so I'll, so here's what I wrote for relaying to the Bible. I said, this song shows the depravity and deaths one goes through in depressive or addictive state. Mm-hmm. While this does nothing to really align with the Bible, it also doesn't offer any hope, which would increase the score.

Instead, it just talks that there is a problem in how one feels about through the prom depression slash addiction. While I would love to give it a higher score, I can't, it aligns with the Bible so far as it says there's a problem, there's something wrong, but it doesn't give anything else to go with for that reason, I have to give it a two.

I mean,

I don't know. I mean, it doesn't really give much of a solution other than just breaking a habit.

You're right. That's what I'm saying. There's no solution given, or then this is songs saying there's a problem there. So that's what I said. Because of that, I have to give you a two. I'm not giving a three.

I'm giving a two. Okay. For the music video, I said, isn't that a solution? Is it? Is it,

I guess you have to break a

habit, but is that the solution?

I wouldn't say it's a solution just to break the habit. I

guess it's a, I mean, it's a step in the right direction. Right. But yeah. All right. Fair enough

that that's why I gave it too. Yeah. Okay. Uh, like I said, for the music video, stylistically I like it. Although new to this, how the second half of the video plays out.

Yeah. I can only give it a three, not a five. Okay. Okay. Right. Uh, lyrics four, music four.

So I was one point higher than

you. Yep. One point higher on, you said it relates to the Bible more. I hate that question so much, but it is an important thing to think about as well for us as Christians.

Well, no. Yeah. I guess

why do you hate it?

Because it's like, well, I mean it in a sense. It does, but it's Does it have everything? Well, no. From the Bible

in there. No. No, it, nothing ever will. But how well does it, how well does it align with biblical standards? Things can align with biblical sentence without having everything that's in the

Bible.

That wasn't the question.

How well does it align the Bible? How well does align biblical standards? How well does it align with the truth of the Bible? How well does align with what the message of the Bible is? How well does all of it? That doesn't have to have all of it, but. Obviously. Obviously for me, my answer is yes cuz it's already on my main daily music

playlist.

And Lincoln Park is one of your favorite

bands. Yeah, I know. So that's what I said. So it's a bit of a giveaway, kind of giveaway there. But Aaron still scores it higher than I do, which is

impressive. Hey. Yeah. Cause I like it more than you, I'm just kidding.

Fine. I'm kidding. All right, Dar, I can say that.

What's the next song that we're going to listen to that you are picking for us? Because I wanna know what this song is so I know how to approach it to destroy it. Whoa, I'm kidding. I, I wanna know what song to listen to to overanalyze. Oh

geez. Yeah. You'll know more about the song than I do. I know. And which will be two

lessons, shall we?

I'll know it. And it's never two. Listen, it's more, well I'm just

saying in two lessons you'll know more than I do. It's always way, it'll be more than that, which then means you e mo know even far more than I ever will, but. Yeah. Um, next song. See, I'm, I'm tempted to give a list like you did. Okay. That's fair.

Now as far as this list goes, um, two are ones that are songs that, uh, I guess technically one of them I did put in my musical library, cuz I was curious about it and I didn't hear the whole song the first time listening to it, it was just like, whoa, this is interesting now. Which I did send that to you at one point, I mean, quite some time ago.

Okay. The other one was the song that inspired me to want to do this.

Okay. So which one is it? And, well,

it's not over yet. Not over yet, but wait, there's more. There's more, there's more. Um, Oh, I've been trying, I've just, because I wanted to leave it at three, but I've been trying to decide this third song.

Okay. Which, this is the song that doesn't,

this is a decision that never ends. Um, you know. Okay. I'll put a few out there. Okay. So it's going, so it's gonna be, uh, which I think, I think the song title is literally just good as hell by Lizzo. Okay. Shoot. Um, I can't remember the artist's name. Uh, the song is Messy in Heaven, I think is what it's called.

Here. Mess. And by Vek and Goddard. Okay. Um, and then it was going to be, Oh, what's the, what's, what's, what's one, um, treatment by August Burns

Red. Okay.

Or, oh, see this is, I, I just want to pick one from this band, but it's, which one do I do? Um, well we can always hit more later as time goes on. This is so much more difficult than it needs to be gonna go with

Let's go Flooded Earth by four today. Yeah.

Okay. That, that it,

cause I was fighting between that or broken lens by four today. Are you gonna

add a na song in there or are we doing

add broken lens as

well? Five four today? Yep.

So that's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 potential songs that you are bringing mm-hmm. To the table here? Yep. And you want me to pick, or are you gonna pick? You pick.

Alright. Uh, of course now you're just gonna have something to pick for you.

Well, C Okay. Wait, what? The six that you need a five sign? I know, I, I wanted to see if, I wanted to see if, if chat e p t could roll a dye. Oh. So just, so I'm, I'm just having, okay. This can roll a six side dye. Cool. But we need a five. I know. And Paul, I understand. So I have the list pulled up here on the screen for both me and Erin to ay uhhuh we're gonna go one at the top, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Okay. Yep. I'm going to have Google roll a five side. And, and the reason is, I have no idea in any of these songs and no stake in anything. So guess what? Everything is just as equal.

Oh, dang it. The computers have spoken messy in

Heaven

by Veian Goddard.

Messy in Heaven is the next song that we'll be doing. Dang it. Why are you saying, dang it? I dunno. I have a feeling this is gonna be a song that I, this is when I will

break low. A hundred percent. This is probably, well this is gonna be the lowest

one.

Good to know. Yeah.

But it's funny cuz like listening on the radio, um, there was, uh, conversation about how this song has caused fights at the dinner table amongst families because it has, well, religious, I guess, talk stuff about it. Okay. Yeah, so it's, it's already a song I don't like and I wouldn't have in my life my playlist, so boom, there's that answer.

But,

but yeah. But yet you wanted to discuss

it. Now we're, we're gonna talk about it anyways because mainly cuz I was just, it was a popular, well it seemed to be a pop popular song, one that was, uh, well took

off in 2022, something like that. That it was released in 2022, September 23rd, 2022. So yeah. All right.

This is going to be, um, interesting one and apparently yes it is. It ranked number, it hit number one on the charts in UK dance. I can see. Yeah, I can see that. And UK singles, it hit number three, so this is going to be interesting. Interesting. It didn't do as well in the us. Yeah. Yeah. Only ranked number 34 in US hot dance electronic songs, and number 40 in US, alternate airplay, alternative airplay.

So we are going to see how many notes I can make on a two minute, 52nd song. Yeah. It is a short, uh,

yeah.

Radio song. Yeah, it's a short song watch. I end up with like 20 pages of notes. I,

I will not put it past you on this. I almost will expect it now.

I'm kidding. Please don't. I'm gonna read you the, I'm gonna read you the summary and this is what we're gonna end on.

The summary of the song that Aaron has chosen for next time. Oh boy. Mess in Heaven is a thrilling, cathartic drum and bass that reimagines Jesus placed into a modern day situation. The track starts with soft piano chords and later transcends into a dance track characterized by Verde's signature sound by whose.

Were you reading that?

Oh, VE Bees. Ve Bees Vees. Ver Vees. I edited an R in there. Ver Bees. Ve Be's signature sound. That'd be interesting. Yeah. I guess join us next month so we can analyze Messi in Heaven by whoever these people are. Ve be and Godard. Sure. Vbi and Goddard. Yeah. All right. See you next week.

Outro

music.